I couldn't actually bring myself to post this on facebook, but....

I have tried so hard, but it simply doesn't matter. I've spent day in day out for months talking about music and people and pointing out every step of the way that i'm the problem when i don't like something.

There are no illegal people anywhere. That bullshit is made up. It's made up by people who value other human beings so little that they can't bear to spend one more second feeling like they are responsible for their own misery.

Sit down and imagine how absolutely miserable you would have to be to walk through a desert to get away from your horrible life. Imagine how desperate you would have to be to learn how to fly an airplane across the ocean just to inflict that same misery on people you don't even know.

If you have ever been offended by one of my posts, you deserve to be offended. I want to see pictures of your dogs. I want to hear you complain that today was tough because the personal problems you are facing became emotionally overwhelming. I want to see what you are DOING, and i want to support you with the limited resources i have.

But, those posts come every 12 or 13 or so, in between pseudo-scientific misinformation, fake friend requests from chicks with big boobs, nonsense self-help garbage, reasons to hate people i don't know. News flash, that's the stuff the rest of the world actually hates.

Part of me thinks "oh god you can't post that on facebook for the people you see in real life to read" and another part of me thinks "those people know full well what you think and very much notice that you don't actually conduct yourself like this in real life" and a third part of me thinks "just delete this post and say something funny about another album," and a fourth part of me thinks "if i see another pete buttigieg ad on a youtube chemistry video (i'm really into nile red at the moment) i'm gonna scream because if i wanted Sheldon to be the next president i'd write in 'Jim Parsons' instead of the name i'm going to write an entire fucking year from now because not a single one of you have any reason why kamala harris shouldn't be president," and a 5th part of me thinks "if you don't laugh, the pedophiles win" (an inside joke from the drive home from a lovely thanksgiving lunch), and the 6th part of me says "shut up, i'm trying to formulate my thoughts about the next christmas album from the 70s i want to make fun of," and the real joke behind bottle of beef is that "we're all dead inside" because the host of a t.v. gameshow somehow has a more cogent and applaudable argument than i do.

Kudos for reading this far. My point is that if this post isn't enjoyable for you to read, what in the wide world of sports makes you think your is? I'll tell you. Narcissism.